As a healthcare speaker and consultant, time and time again I’m asked to teach courses explaining my technique for managing anger. Decisive anger management requires reevaluating the myths about anger you’ve taken on board and also instituting an effective biological-psychological approach.
Anger can have a positive purpose in all our lives. It’s a force that drives personal and organizational change. Anger can empower you to take the (often difficult) action required to produce long-lasting change. Accordingly, the initial reframe I want to suggest is that you don’t have difficulties with anger, you have a problem with poorly controlled anger.
Secondly, anger can be aimed inward as well as externally. This “internal” anger can damage your health. There is extensive research to indicate that inadequately managed anger has destructive biological costs to the cardiovascular and respiratory systems
It’s also essential to appreciate anger management from a combined biological-psychological point of view. As a top professional healthcare speaker, it’s clear that , as a rule, people don’t take this combined view. (Even healthcare specialists, such as MDs, nurse practitioners and psychotherapists, repeatedly fail to appreciate this fundamental distinction. Which is why, in my role as a health industry motivational speaker, I focus on this vital issue.)
The Biology Of Anger
As you try to manage your rage, it’s essential to appreciate that it’s triggered by a deeply ingrained brain pathway that’s much more dominant than most individuals would believe. A fixed neural arrangement that came into being to defend our predecessors in a considerably more hazardous environment.
A fundamental piece of your brain’s emotional response is fueled by an almond-shaped structure called the amygdala. Any category of perceived threat (physically dangerous or otherwise) can provoke this system. Once stirred up it produces an array of physiological responses. (Each and every one of the “symptoms” of rage such as a racing heart, tension in the neck, flushed face and a knot in the stomach.) Furthermore, this entire mechanism functions directly on your unconscious brain. (FYI: This neural pathway, vital to your understanding of anger, was figured out by Professor Joseph LeDoux.)
The Psychology Of Anger
Now you grasp the raw strength of your brain’s emotion pathway, let’s focus on the (equally notable) psychological aspects of the anger state. Research by psychologists has revealed that our self-talk is full of unhelpful stories. (When I discuss these stories in my healthcare speeches, it’s obvious that attendees relate to them.)
One type of negative story we tell ourselves starts with a question: “What if…?” As the admired cognitive therapist Aaron T. Beck has said, one question of this nature regularly leads to more of the same. Asking a succession of these questions can give rise to a downhill coil, resulting in catastrophizing.
A Healthcare Speaker’s Combined Approach
Here is the anger management strategy I explain in each and every one my healthcare speeches; a combined biological-psychological approach. The quandary with a strict biological approach to anger management is that the unhelpful story you are making up will reengage the amygdala. That said, trying to challenge an upsetting story is extremely hard if you haven’t got the biological component of your fury under control.
The ideal way to get the biological component of your anger under control is to habitually run through a relaxation exercise. For my part, I’ve found out that meditation is most effective. Often taking ten minutes (yep, it’s not very time consuming) has worked miracles. When living gets a little too nerve-racking, it has helped me to “observe” my unhelpful thoughts and feelings pass by without getting “hooked” by them.
Regarding the pessimistic stories. Merely comprehending that you’re being upset by a story you’re telling yourself can be very effective. In addition, you can question your upsetting story. For instance, if you’re mired in a downhill spiral of “what if” questions, think precise percentages and likelihoods. Sure, it’s vaguely possible you’ll lose your job but what’s the actual likelihood (without the emotional overlay)? Or, if your self-talk contains heaps of imprecise absolute words like “total,” “completely” and “always,” swap them with softer words like “on occasion”.
Bottom line: Whatever techniques you decide to adopt (and healthcare speakers have a ton of them) always take a combined biological-psychological approach. This is the central clue to improving your emotional intelligence, including coping with your anger.
Tags: anger management, emotional intelligence, health care speaker, healthcare speaker